 |
Love Advice On Healthy
Arguing
Arguing amongst mates is common. And, to a certain extent, arguing
should happen between two independent adults who are in a relationship.
It’s going to happen. There is no need to worry that your relationship is
in trouble if you argue from time to time. You can get
Loving Marriage Help on this here.
Arguing in an unhealthy way, however, can be a BIG problem. Even just a few
arguments that are unhealthy can cause serious damage to your relationship.
Unhealthy arguing that damages the relationship occurs in several ways. The
first common way is when one or both of you attack the other, or withdraw
into silence for days. Attacking your mate, yelling at them, screaming or
deriding them is a bad way to argue. Another negative way to argue is to
withdraw for hours or days and refuse to talk with your mate. Both
attacking and withdrawing lead to problems.
Another big cause of damage in your relationship is if during an argument
you say things that are very hurtful to your mate, like you’re a complete
stupid idiot or a worthless wench. Studies have shown that if one or both
partners treat each other with scorn or contempt during an argument, that
relationship gets severely damaged. If you treat your mate with scorn or
get treated with scorn you should learn how to deal with conflict in a
healthier way.
What then, are good ways to argue? One way is to try to learn to breathe
and look your mate in the eye when arguing. Learning to breathe during an
argument can help you to stay more calm. You can get more
relationship
wisdom here.
It may take a while to learn this, but aim to de-escalate arguments. If
your partner is yelling, see if you can talk softly. If you are doing the
yelling, see if you can breathe and pause and aim to not damage your
partner.
An additional powerful method for good arguments is to ask your mate this
important question: What's important to you about this issue? Then LISTEN
without interrupting or attacking them. Then see if you can share your
views about what's important to you. This will often lead to compromise.
Lastly, a great move is to reconnect with your lover fast after the argument
is over. Don't let the resentment and silence linger or build up. Say "I'm
sorry we disagreed, are you all right?" Break the ice! There is much more
to learn about good conflict, but this is a good start. You can get a
complete system about
How To Get Love
Help here.
There are entire books that can be written about
healthy conflict, so this is obviously just an introduction, but this is a
great place to start to improve your love relationship today.
|
|
