Love Insights
Love Phases
Multiply Love
Love Tips
Love Advice -
Keeping True Love
True love. What a great feeling! Books, movies and
songs are made about it. Having watched all these movies and read all
these books and listened to all these songs all our lives, we tend to think
there is one true love for us out there somewhere and we can't be eternally
happy until we find it.
So we look high and low and here and there and finally find someone and it
feels great. But only for a while. The first six months or so. During this
period we love everything about them. We feel totally in love. We feel like
we have found our true love.
As time passes we find that little things about them start bothering us,
like do they leave the toilet seat up or down? We also start to feel like we
don't want to spend all of our time with them, we want a little space. Is
this wrong? Have we lost our true love?
Not necessarily. Research on love has found that relationships happen in
stages. The first stage is called the "oceanic love" phase of a
relationship. This is the time in the beginning where everything about them
is great and we feel powerfully bonded and loved. It is the stuff movies are
made of!
But all good things come to an end, and research says that after six months
or thereabouts we begin to move into the me-us phase. We start to separate
some. We want our own space or feel hurt by our mate wanting theirs. We
begin to have a few conflicts. We feel the need to have our own friends or
work on our own interests and goals some. This is normal.
If we didn't separate some, if we didn't start creating some healthy
boundaries and moving on with our lives, it would be a problem. We would
just be a merged, tangled mess, trying to get all our happiness from our
mate, which wont work long term. We have to continue our journeys.
So if you want to keep true love in your life, understand this: Don't give
up on love because you move out of the oceanic love phase. Love is bigger
than that. Physical attraction is just one part that will rise and fall.
True love means learning to love the whole person, the parts you think are
good and the parts you don't like so much.
To keep true love, you have to learn that conflict is okay. It will happen.
True love includes some conflict between two healthy normal adults with
their own lives and interests. True love includes them needing their own
space and not running when things get uncomfortable from time to time. It
includes working things out. This is the only way you'll ever get to keep
it.
You can learn much more about this kind of Emotional Intelligence in the
free course 7 Vital Love Clues at Love
Advice Insights.
There are entire books that can be written about
each of these topics, so this is obviously just an introduction, but
these are a great place to start to improve your love relationship and the
experience of intimacy for both of you. More
Love Help here.
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